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BLACK & WHITE

Under age 40? You won't understand.

This is a poem written by some unknown Internet Poet but it strikes a chord in any nostalgic heart.

Black and White

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

Depending on the channel you tuned,
You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June.
It felt so good. It felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.

I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys,
Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys,
Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane.

Father Knows Best, Patty Duke,
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too,
Donna Reed on Thursday night!
Life looked better in black and white.

I wanna go back to black and white.
Everything always turned out right.
Simple people, simple lives...
Good guys always won the fights.

Now nothing is the way it seems,
In living color on the TV screen.
Too many murders, too many fights,
I wanna go back to black and white.

In God they trusted, alone in bed they slept,
A promise made was a promise kept.
They never cussed or broke their vows.
They'd never make the network now.

But if I could, I'd rather be
In a TV town in '53.
It felt so good. It felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.

I'd trade all the channels on the satellite,
If I could just turn back the clock tonight
To when everybody knew wrong from right.
Life was better in black and white!

MOVIES WANTED ON DVD

There are no Websites or places one can write to for suggesting theatrical movies, TV movies, TV series, documentaries and the like for release on DVD. There are quite a few films I am eagerly anticipating for release on DVD. Every day I check DVDFILE.com to see the latest films/TV series, etc. as they are released on DVD. In the past year quite a few of my favorites have been transferred to DVD. I am a serious collector of DVDs. When I purchase a DVD I expect the finest available print of film to be used…or re-mastered, I like special features to be added. Among my favorite special features are “the Making of…”; commentaries and actual documentaries on the subject matter of the film. Most DVDs in my library are of the best quality, but there have been some serious disappointments. Goodtimes Video is one company who does not bother cleaning or selecting perfect prints. Their DVD of “Charade” was faded, had numerous cuts, missing/garbled dialog, scratches, pit marks and whole scenes missing. It was abominable. I lucked out in returning it as they had no copies left to replace it with so they had to return my money. Stay away from Goodtimes. Unfortunately, some of my favorite films: Airport and K-2, to name a few are only available through Goodtimes. I will not buy them! Some of the larger companies are also guilty of using bad prints. Fox released a dirty, scrached print of “Predator”. It is in terrible shape…avoid that one. “The Black Stallion” from MGM is also a pathetic, dirty, scratched print. HBO’s “Indictment: The McMartin Trial” is quite dirty throughout the film. Couldn’t they have at least cleaned the film before the transfer? When I get DVDs like this I feel betrayed by the merchandisers.

Below is a List of films I am waiting for to be released on DVD. Some are available in limited supply and list at $22.00 or more. Eventually they will be lowered to around $14.99 or less. Unless it’s a multiple disk set, no DVD is worth over $19.99. Those listed below as [affordable] are currently available at high prices. Those marked with an asterisk * are the ones I most want to see released on DVD.

Abe Lincoln in Illinois
A.D. [Anno Domino] mini-series
African Queen
All Mine to Give
All that Heaven Allows
Amahl and the Night Visitors
Amazing Stories [all episodes]
Ambulance, The
Apartment for Peggy
Anne of the 1000 Days
Back from Eternity
Best Man, The
Big Sky, The
Bonnie Prince Charlie
Call of the Wild [TVM - 1993]
Comic, The [1969]
Conspiracy of Hearts
1492: Conquest of Paradise
*Counterpoint (1968)
Crusoe
Delta Heat
Downhill Racer
Dragonwyck
Dreamer of Oz [TVM]
Dreamchild
Dreamhouse (TVM -1981)
Earth: The Final Conflict Season 1 & 2
Edison the Man
84 Charlie Mopic
El Cid
*Emigrants, The
Escape from Fort Bravo
Fall of the Roman Empire
Far North
55 Days at Peking
Fighting 69th, The
Florence Nightingale [TVM]
Fooling Around
The Green Years
Green Journey
Great Northfield Minnesota Raid, The
Guns of Fort Petticoat, The
Happy Years, The [1950]
Homeward Bound (TVM – 1980]
If It's Tuesday This Must Be Belgium
Island, The
Island on Bird Street
Ivanhoe [TVM - 1982]
K-2 [not Goodtimes]
King of the Hill (1993)
King of the Khyber Rifles
Kings of the Sun
Lassiter
Laurel Avenue [Mini-Series – 1993]
Laurel & Hardy (Shorts, Features except beyond 1940)
Left Hand of God, The
*Little Lord Fauntleroy (TVM -1980)
*Little Riders, The (TVM – 1996]
Lost Patrol, The
Love She Sought, The [TVM aka Green Journey]
Love with the Proper Stranger (1963)
Magic of Ordinary Days, The
Magnificent Obsession
Man in the Wilderness
Man of a Thousand Faces [Cagney]
Man on a Tightrope
Mary, Queen of Scots (1971)
Masada [Mini-series – 1984]
Mass Appeal
Master of Ballantrae [TVM - 1984]
Meeting of Minds [all episodes - PBS series]
Men Don't Leave
*Missing Link (1988) [one of the best films ever!]
Mudlark, The
Murder He Says
*New Land, The [sequel to The Emigrants]
Night and the City
North Star [1997]
Northwest Mounted Police
Northwest Passage
*Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss
Operation Daybreak
Oxford Blues
The Personals [1982]
Phase IV [1974]
*Photographing Fairies
Purple Haze
Quo Vadis
Rasputin [TVM – 1996]
Rhapsody in Bloom
Sahara [TVM – 1995]
Sally and St. Anne
Salute to the Marines
Samson and Delilah
Sands of the Kalahari
Savage Innocents
Secret of the Incas
*Secrets of the U.S. Mint (Documentary)
Seven Cities of Gold
Spikes Gang, The
Studs Lonigan [mini-series]
Tall Tale: Unbelievable Adventures of Pecos Bill
Taras Bulba
Tenth Man, The [TVM – 1988]
Three Came Home
Tree Grows in Brooklyn, A
27th Day, The
Two Weeks with Love
Tycoon [John Wayne]
Vestige of Honor [TVM]
Wee Willie Winkie
Westward the Women
White Cliffs of Dover
Young Bess
Young Love, First Love [TVM - 1979]
Young Mr. Lincoln
Young Tom Edison

MOVIE GOSSIP

Although I'm a huge movie fan, I do not indulge in movie star gossip and scandals. They are but a footnote or anecdote in the history of film as art. So much is made of what Madonna does, or how Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman's marriage is going. This is mere trivia to me. Certainly I wish every marriage to be successful and my best wishes go out to every married couple, but I am not interested in extra-marital affairs or the like. I celebrate the art of the movies. I'm more interested in editing, a musical score, a literate script or cinematography than where a movie star buys their clothes or what hotels and nightclubs they hang out in. I appreciate their talents and in some cases their philanthropy and even their fidelity, but their private lives belong to them and I'm definitely not interested. I never buy the National Enquirer or the other trashy tabloids and I cringed when the once entertaining 'Entertainment Tonight' show turned to covering gossip and sleaze. I am a bit of a voyeur or I wouldn't enjoy the Survivor series, but I keep it to a minimum. I am just thankful and grateful that these talented actors and performers shared their gift with us'the general public. Life would be a bit dimmer without the likes of Humphrey Bogart, Laurel & Hardy, Alfred Hitchcock, Katharine Hepburn and Steven Spielberg! I celebrate their talent, but their private lives are their own!

B & W MEANS QUALITY

I find it quite sad that today many moviegoers and TV watchers, especially those under 40, will refuse to watch anything in black & white. In a way I can understand why, as I'm pretty much the of the same frame of mind when it comes to silent films. To me they're like dusty old antiques even though they contain part of the history of film. I have seen some pretty good Laurel & Hardy silents as well as some astonishing work by Buster Keaton, but it's almost a chore for me to sit through most of them. On the other hand, black and white sound films are easier to watch...for me at least, and if you abstain from b&w films you are cheating yourself out of some classic material. Films like King Kong, It's A Wonderful Life, Bringing Up Baby, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Battleground and so many, many others are masterpieces of filmmaking and those who abstain from b&w are cheating themselves of some fabulous entertainment. My 9 year old twin grand-nephews associate b&w with quality...with a capital Q. They love Our Gang and Laurel & Hardy; tonight they saw King Kong for the first time and even though they thought it a bit "hokey", they absolutely loved it. Think of the TV series: I Love Lucy, Amos 'n' Andy, The Honeymooners, Leave It to Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show and so many others. If you confine yourself to only color films you are missing an awful lot! Please don't be pigheaded! Give yourself a treat and enjoy a classic b&w film today!

Character Actors: A Discussion

A while back I received an inquiry from Tom Jacobs of Ohio asking: "Why does there not seem to be nowadays the quality and uniqueness of the character actors of the past" My reply was: There are some fine and very unique character actors out there at present, albeit, not as many as there were in past decades. I guess part of the problem would be the changing times we now live in. The world seems a bit less joyous, lethargic, almost cynical, and the future not as clear and promising as it seemed in past decades. Attitudes in the first decade of the 2000s are just not as rollicking and happy as, say in the 1940s or 1950s. This harbors a new breed of character actors, every bit as talented, but with different "auras" about them. For example, compare the gangsters of past decades with the sadistic thugs and drug dealers or the 1990s and 2000s. Even sexy types seem sleazier. I think that might be part of the problem. The types of movies made today call for a different type of character actor. Film in the 1990s and 2000s are directed primarily at very young audiences. That, too, is a factor. Still there are some excellent character actors working today. Some are included on these pages: Armin Muller-Stahl, Jeroen Krabbe, Steve Buscemi, Saul Rubinek and others. We hope to be adding more also, especially those whose names are unfamiliar. Keep posted to the Great Character Actors Pages.

Today I received a fascinating letter from Toby O'B (could that possibly be O'Brien?) who operates and maintains a Web called Tubeworld. Toby knows his character actors and sent his observations to Mr. Jacob's inquiry above: "I read what you had to say about the dearth of character actors of the quality of the past and wanted to add something to mull over.

That in the old days, the studios had to develop and cultivate a stable of great character actors because their pictures depended on them far more than today. Back then, when the actors were under contract to particular studios, then they were run through the mill in order to get as many pictures out of them as possible. This meant that they might be working on several pics at the same time. So those movies needed the character actors for scenes not involving the main leads who might be off on another film that day.

A great example would be 'Casablanca' (don't remember which critic said this, but I heard this cited a few months ago and I agree.): Bogart's scenes, although central, are only a small part of the whole tapestry. But so much more of the film is taken up with the work contributed by S.Z. Sakall, Sydney Greenstreet, Frank Puglia, Dooley Wilson, so many others; many of them not involving Bogie at all.

Nowadays, when the stars have those multi-million contracts, the production company has to make sure they squeeze as much of their investment out of those leads. That's why Nicholson played two roles in 'Mars Attacks!' - to justify the salary! That's why the stars end up being in nearly frame of a multi-million dollar flick, so there's no need to groom a backup team of character actors to carry part of a movie.

Thankfully, there will always be wonderful character actors around and perhaps over time their work will gain the luster that those from the 40s enjoy today. [One thing I always hated from the eighties/nineties - just when a good character actor broke through the pack to get widespread recognition, they'd die! Ray McAnally, Trey Wilson, Adolph Caeser, John Hancock....]"

Toby's observations certainly ring true and make much sense. Thanks Toby for the valuable insight.

King Spud's List of 100 Best Comedies

  1. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
  2. Bringing Up Baby
  3. The End
  4. Bohemian Girl
  5. Casanova's Big Night
  6. Paleface
  7. Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad
  8. Road to Morocco
  9. Fargo
 10. What About Bob?
 11. Men In Black
 12. The Court Jester
 13. Sons of the Desert
 14. Way Out West
 15. The Out of Towners
 16. Pardon Us
 17. Arthur
 18. Toy Story 2
 19. Toy Story
 20. Airplane
 21. National Lampoon's Vacation
 22. Pack Up Your Troubles
 23. Topper
 24. A Chump at Oxford
 25. Saps at Sea
 26. Road to Utopia
 27. Babes in Toyland
 28. The Odd Couple
 29. Swiss Miss
 30. Naked Gun 33-1/3: The Final Insult
 31. The Sunshine Boys
 32. It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
 33. Blockheads
 34. Our Relations
 35. Bonnie Scotland
 36. Murder, He Says
 37. It's A Gift
 38. Trading Places
 39. A Christmas Story
 40. The Lemon Drop Kid
 41. A Night in Casablanca
 42. The Great Outdoors
 43. Arthur 2: On the Rocks
 44. Summer Rental
 45. Midnight Run
 46. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
 47. Grumpy Old Men
 48. Grumpier Old Men
 49. Son of Paleface
 50. Uncle Buck
 51. Top Secret
 52. I Was A Male War Bride
 53. My Favorite Spy
 54. The Dream Team
 55. Murder By Death
 56. Alice Adams
 57. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
 58. Waiting For Guffman
 59. As Good as It Gets
 60. Dumb and Dumber
 61. My Fellow Americans
 62. Road to Singapore
 63. Monkey Business (1952)
 64. Kingpin
 65. Back to the Future
 66. Road to Zanzibar
 67. The Inlaws
 68. The Jerk
 69. The Princess and the Pirate
 70. Fra Diavolo
 71. Back to the Future III
 72. Heaven Help Us
 73. Down and Out in Beverly Hills
 74. The Nutty Professor (1963)
 75. Beverly Hills Cop
 76. Father of the Bride (1950)
 77. Father's Little Dividend
 78. Wrongfully Accused
 79. Naked Gun 2-1/2: The Smell of Fear
 80. The Horn Blows at Midnight
 81. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town
 82. The Egg and I
 83. Road to Rio
 84. Arsenic and Old Lace
 85. There's Something About Mary
 86. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
 87. The Great Impostor
 88. Blazing Saddles
 89. Tootsie
 90. Hot Shots
 91. Hot Shot: Part Deux
 92. The Gods Must Be Crazy
 93. Young Frankenstein
 94. The Heartbreak Kid
 95. The Party
 96. Mars Attacks!
 97. Memoirs of an Invisible Man
 98. All of Me
 99. The Mask
100. The Man With Two Brains
  Honorable Mention:
  Back to the Future II
  Sitting Pretty
  Groundhog Day
  Mighty Aphrodite
  Major League
  Lost in America
  Silver Streak
  Caddyshack
  If It's Tuesday This Must Be Belgium
  The Gods Must Be Crazy 2
  PeeWee's Big Adventure
  Duck Soup
  Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
  A Shot in the Dark
  A New Leaf
  Inner Space
  Born in East L.A.
  A Fish Called Wanda
  Foul Play
  Three Amigos
  What's Up Doc?
  The Apartment
  Fletch
  The Addams Family
  Barefoot in the Park
  Alias Jesse James
  Wayne's World
  High Anxiety
  The Goodbye Girl
  When Harry Met Sally
  Ghostbusters
  The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming
  Sister Act

AFI'S 100 Years - 100 Laughs

List of 100 Best Comedies

I have to laugh at this recent List of AFI picks. Who are these people who choose these films? Why do they hate Laurel & Hardy so? Why do they not appreciate the film work of Bob Hope, especially with Bing Crosby and "The Road.." pictures? I found the laugh quotient in the films they picked inexplicably lacking? They were clever, innovative, mildly amusing; but definitely not hilarious'some weren't even funny! Some films were very questionably not comedies. There were dramas with humor e.g.: Fargo; The Thin Man; The Graduate; Being There; Shampoo and others. There were love stories like: Moonstruck; Harold and Maude; Adam's Rib and others. I have no argument with some of these like Fargo, but others are not even funny.

Of course the AFI is an organization that denied the great film pioneer Hal Roach a Life Achievement award even though he lived to be 100. They chose such mediocre honorees as Barbara Stanwyck and such young honorees as Dustin Hoffman; Harrison Ford; Clint Eastwood and Steven Spielberg. Not that they aren't worthy and deserving, but Roach was a pioneer! All their Lists have virtually excluded Laurel & Hardy, yet they honor lesser talents such as: Lloyd; Chaplin; Keaton; the Marx Brothers; Woody Allen and Mel Brooks (whose films are always uneven). I challenge them not to laugh at Laurel & Hardy or "The Road.." pictures. Rating Private Benjamin; Auntie Mame; 9 to 5; Victor, Victoria and City Slickers, to name just a few, over Sons of the Desert; Way Out West; Pardon Us; Bohemian Girl; Blockheads; Pack Up Your Troubles; Road to Utopia; Road to Bali; Paleface; My Favorite Spy; Casanova's Big Night and so many other classic comedies is ludicrous. In my opinion comedy-dramas and romance films are not "true comedies" and, if included, should rank behind funny, hilarious and even mildly amusing comedies. I knew my blood pressure would rise while viewing this show (CBS - June 13, 2000).

We knew this List would be controversial as all such Lists are purely a matter of taste, but these choices are really off! Here then, is my commentary on the AFI's 100 Best Comedies:

100. Good Morning, Vietnam - This was the first sign that this List would
     be way off! I bought the video not having seen the film and based on
     "word-of-mouth" and critic's opinions. I returned it the same day.
     Awful!
 99. The Nutty Professor - No argument here. A worthy entry but it would
     be much higher on my List.
 98. The Court Jester - It would be in my Top 10. (Meaning higher on MY List)
 97. Bull Durham - I saw it but can't even remember it. It wouldn't make
     MY List.
 96. Sons of the Desert - This is a definite "thumbing-of-the-nose" at
     the world's greatest comedy team! This would be in the Top 20 on MY List.
 95. Silver Streak - A very worthy entry but it would be further back on MY
     List.
 94. Auntie Mame - Even with its great cast it was a bore! Not on MY List!
 93. Fargo - I love this film and find it very funny but is it a comedy? If
     so, it goes on MY List.
 92. Ball of Fire - I really can't comment on this one as I've never seen it.
     It sure has a great cast though.
 91. The Heartbreak Kid - Not one of the greatest comedies but a good one
     which deserves inclusion.
 90. Woman of the Year - To be fair, I haven't seen the Hepburn-Tracy
     romantic comedies but I think they're stronger on romance than
     comedy.
 89. The Jerk - This is what's called a "stupid comedy", but if they make
     you laugh they're good comedies, and this one delivers.
 88. Beetlejuice - I liked this film a lot, in fact I'd rank it in the Top 50.
 87. Fast Times at Ridgemont High - This is another good comedy and it'd
     be on MY List of 100.
 86. City Slickers - This comedy was on the mediocre side. It might make
     MY second hundred.
 85. Dinner at Eight - I can't comment on this film but must admit it looks
     like a good one.
 84. Lost in America - This is a very good comedy and deserves to be
     included. It's my favorite Albert Brooks film.
 83. Father of the Bride - Definitely one of the best comedies of the 1950s.
 82. Private Benjamin - One of the worst choices on this List! It wasn't that
     good, and I like Goldie Hawn.
 81. The Navigator - I have to be honest and say I do not like Silent films
     but Keaton was very clever and actually funny. I'd rank it in the
     second hundred.
 80. Sleeper - At one time I thought this was Woody Allen's best film but I
     saw it recently and it doesn't stand the test of time. Maybe it'd make
     my List of 300.
 79. The Freshman - Again I haven't seen this one but Harold Lloyd was a
     very funny man and I'm sure it's deserving but where's "Professor
     Beware"?
 78. Road to Morocco - This is one of the best films on this List and
     should've been one of the Top 10. And where are the other "Road.."
     pictures?
 77. The Palm Beach Story - Haven't seen this one but I like "screwball
     comedies"; so I look forward to seeing it. No comment here.
 76. Victor/Victoria - I can't believe this film made the List. I've tried to
     watch it but it bores me. It wouldn't make MY List.
 75. She Done Him Wrong - A good choice. How can you beat the
     combination of Mae West and Cary Grant.
 74. 9 to 5 - Another very bad choice. At best this film is mediocre. Not on
     MY List.
 73. Monkey Business - It would've made my List but only after ALL the
     Laurel & Hardy features. Why does the AFI revere the Marx Brothers
     so? They're good but not that good!
 72. Mr. Blandings Builds A Dreamhouse - This is not a funny movie but
     merely a warm, gentle film. There were no big laughs. Cary Grant is
     great but this does not belong in the Top 100.
 71. Caddyshack - It's stupid humor and very funny. It'd make my List.
 70. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town - This was a good film with some nice
     laughs and deserving, but higher on the List. Walter Catlett was great.
 69. Bananas - Sorry, but Woody Allen's films don't hold up. They look
     dated and are no longer all that funny. Why does AFI revere him so?
 68. The Awful Truth - A good Cary Grant film and quite deserving but
     where were: "I Was A Male War Bride" and "Monkey Business"?
 67. Mrs. Doubtfire - I liked it but it would be further back on MY List.
 66. Take the Money and Run - This Woody Allen film may have held up
     better than his others. It might make my second 100.
 65. Horse Feathers - More Marx Brothers tomfoolery, like all their films
     it has some good laughs and some dull spots. I'd rank it much higher.
     (meaning further back on the List)
 64. Broadcast News - Another really bad choice. It wasn't that funny. The
     only scene I liked was the flop sweat scene with Albert Brooks. It
     wouldn't make MY List.
 63. Beverly Hills Cop - A good film, very funny and deserving. But where
     was Eddie Murphy's "Trading Places"?
 62. Sherlock Jr. - Another Keaton film and who could argue his genius but
     he was no better than Laurel & Hardy.
 61. What's Up Doc? - A terrific attempt at "screwball comedy" from the
     1970s and very worthy of the Top 100.
 60. Topper - This is one of the films that had to be included on any List of
     great comedies for legitimacy. It ranks in the Top 25 on MY List.
 59. A Day at the Races - A good Marx Brothers film, but it should be
     further back on the List.
 58. It's A Gift - A hilarious W.C. Field's comedy and arguably his best.
     Thank goodness it was included.
 57. Diner - Can't comment as I haven't seen it but Levinson's films are not
     true comedies so it should be further back on any List of comedies.
 56. Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein - Their comedies do not hold
     up well over the years, much like the Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis,
     Francis the Talking Mule and Bowery Boy comedies. This is one of
     their best and if any are included it should be this one.
 55. The Lady Eve - I can't comment on this one. Has anyone seen it?
 54. The Miracle of Morgan's Creek - Another one I haven't seen. Who
     knows how good it is.
 53. Arthur - This is one of the best comedies ever and deserves a much
     higher spot on any List of great comedies. Its sequel is also terrific!
 52. Ninotchka - I've heard of this Garbo film but never realized it was a
     comedy. The clip they showed was funny. It may well be deserving.
 51. The Seven Year Itch - I saw it as a kid and it was a bore. The humor
     does not hold up well, at least for me. I wouldn't include it.
 50. Cat Ballou - I've always felt it and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance
     Kid" were over-rated. I still agree. It did have some funny moments
     but neither would make MY List.
 49. To Be or Not to Be - Not that great! It would make MY List of 200.
 48. A Shot in the Dark - It was my favorite in the "Pink Panther" series
     and is a deserving choice but should be further back.
 47. Shampoo - One of the worst selections on the AFI List. I can't believe
     they chose it, let alone ranking it this high!
 46. Manhattan - Another bad choice in AFI's homage to Woody Allen. It
     might make MY List of 500.
 45. Harold and Maude - Another bad choice. I never understood the
     hoopla over this strange and bizarre film. I saw nothing funny in it.
 44. My Man Godfrey - It's OK. It would make MY List of 200 but not the
     Top 100.
 43. American Graffiti - I really like George Lucas' work but this is one I
     really didn't care for. It's not funny, just mildly interesting. A bad
     choice.
 42. Big - A nice little movie but not one of the great comedies of all time.
 41. Moonstruck - Not really a comedy. It doesn't belong on the List.
 40. It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Another classic comedy without which the
     List would have no credibility.
 39. Sullivan's Travels - Another unfamiliar film I have not seen. It better
     be pretty good to be listed this high on the List.
 38. City Lights - This begins AFI's homage/tribute to Chaplin. I feel he
     was clever, an innovator and slightly amusing but not hilarious. All
     of his films would rank in the 300s on MY List.
 37. The Great Dictator - More praise for the over-rated Chaplin.
 36. National Lampoon's Animal House - A disgusting film about disgusting
     people. Not funny, a real bore! Not on MY List.
 35. Harvey - I'm not crazy about plays. This film was kind of amusing at
     best. It would be on MY List of 200 maybe.
 34. Groundhog Day - I liked this repetitive film more than most people. It
     would be much further back on MY List.
 33. Modern Times - Sorry, but this Chaplin film is highly over-rated.
 32. The Thin Man - This is not a comedy. It's a detective film. What is it
     doing here? I thought it was dull, but then I'm not a whodunit fan.
 31. Raising Arizona - This is a one-time only film. I found it clever and
     amusing but the second viewing I lost interest. I am a Coen Brothers
     fan but this one does not belong on the List.
 30. Arsenic and Old Lace - Another play, but Cary Grant makes it work
     and gives it energy. It'd be further back on MY List though.
 29. This Is Spinal Tap - I haven't seen this and it doesn't grab my
     attention due to its subject matter. It may be deserving though.
 28. Ghostbusters - An OK, fairly mediocre comedy. How could they rank
     it this high? Who are these people who voted?
 27. There's Something About Mary - How could anyone not laugh at this
     very goofy comedy. I'd have to say it is deserving for the List.
 26. Being There - Another terrible choice. This film was an absolute bore!
     I like Peter Sellers but this was awful! Not on MY List. I couldn't
     believe it was nominated for Oscars.
 25. The Gold Rush - In my opinion, Chaplin's best film but there's no way
     it ranks over any of Laurel & Hardy's films.
 24. Born Yesterday - It was funny back in the 1950s but does not hold up.
     It is a bad choice for this List.
 23. When Harry Met Sally - It has a few funny scenes but should not be
     ranked this high.
 22. Adam's Rib - Another Tracy-Hepburn effort. Not as great as the AFI
     thinks. It's amusing at best. Maybe in the second 100!
 21. A Fish Called Wanda - A funny film, of which there are few on this
     List, but it doesn't deserve to be ranked this high!
 20. The Apartment - More of a love story than a comedy but a good film.
     It does not, however, deserve this high of a ranking.
 19. His Girl Friday - This film was loud and manic, not my favorite Cary
     Grant film. Should be way back on the List.
 18. The General - A very good Keaton film but, again, I do not like silents.
     It would be way back on MY List.
 17. The Odd Couple - One of the great comedies of all time. Very high on
     MY List too; but where were the other Neil Simon comedies?
 16. Singin' in the Rain - This is a musical even if it is amusing. If
     musicals are eligible then where's "The Wizard of Oz" and others? It
     shouldn't be included.
 15. The Philadelphia Story - By far one of the least of the films of Grant,
     Stewart and Hepburn. A sophisticated, slightly amusing film. Definitely
     not deserving of the Top 100 comedies.
 14. Bringing Up Baby - This is one of the best comedies ever and as funny
     today as it was back in 1938! It should be in the Top 3.
 13. Young Frankenstein  - This begins AFI's homage/tribute to the highly
     over-rated films of Mel Brooks. All of his films have laughs but are
     also very uneven with insipid jokes that fail miserably and superfluous
     ethnic references. This is one of his best, however, and deserves
     inclusion, but further back on the List.
 12. A Night at the Opera  - Another over-rated Marx Brothers film. It
     doesn't belong this high on the List as there are dozens of better,
     funnier comedies behind it.
 11. The Producers - This one must be for stuffed-shirts as I fail to see the
     humor in it. Another uneven Mel Brooks effort. Not on MY List.
 10. Airplane! - This one is so loaded with laughs and jokes that even if one
     fails, another will smack you right in the face. A brilliant, stupid
     comedy.
  9. The Graduate - This is another outdated, mildly amusing film that is a
     very bad choice for the Top 100 comedies. Maybe it belongs in the Top
     1000, however. How could they rank it this high? Unbelievable!
  8. It Happened One Night - Another good, but over-rated comedy. It
     should be much further back on any List of comedies.
  7. M*A*S*H - I can't be objective here, as I never liked this film. It
     would not make MY List at all. I was shocked at the AFI's Top 10!
  6. Blazing Saddles - One of Mel Brooks 2 best films but, again, highly
     over-rated. It belongs way towards the back of the List.
  5. Duck Soup - There's no way the Marx Brothers rank higher than
     Laurel & Hardy! This was one of their better films but again, over-
     rated. My advice to the AFI, its voters and the Hollywood community.
     Rent a Laurel & Hardy film to remind yourself how well their humor
     stands after 60 years!
  4. Annie Hall - Ranks as one of the top three worst choices on this List!
     It has a little humor in it, but Woody's neuroticism wears real thin.
  3. Dr. Strangelove  - It's such a bad choice for #3. that I'm not listing
     its subtitle. It has funny moments but very highly over-rated. It would
     make MY List of 200 however.
  2. Tootsie - A very good comedy but no way is it the second best! It ranks
     way back on the List.
  1. Some Like It Hot - I'm definitely not one of the fans of this film. It
     was OK, but in no way ranks as the best comedy of all time.

So there it is! Of course, these are only my opinions, but I would hope they are closer to the status quo than the AFI's selections. Where were the films of directors John Hughes, George Marshall, Neil Simon, Pat Proft and comedians Steve Martin, Red Skelton, John Candy, Leslie Nielsen, Jerry Lewis, Bob Hope, Laurel & Hardy, Fred MacMurray and many others. Where were the films: Planes, Trains and Automobiles; All of Me; The Inlaws; Way Out West; Road to Utopia; Paleface; The Sunshine Boys; Barefoot in the Park; The Out-of-Towners; Murder, He Says and so many others? Why do the AFI and the film making community so revere Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Chaplin, The Marx Brothers and Billy Wilder and ignore the greats mentioned above. Some of their choices are actually mind boggling. We knew the List would be controversial, lacking and biased and the AFI delivered.

EMMY COMMENTS

I'd like to share a few thoughts here on the recent (1999) Daytime Emmy Awards. This year's show and picks reinforce my comments on the Emmy Awards as the WORST of all Award Shows. Imagine choosing the host of Hollywood Squares (Beresford, I think his name was) over Ben Stein, Regis Philbin and even Alex Trebek. I can't argue with co-winner Bob Barker but the other choices made on that show bear out my assertion as to its lack of credibility. I've never seen such poor choices as on the Emmys every year! Atrocious!

NETWORK MORONS

I simply cannot believe the moronic and idiotic ideas networks, both cable and broadcasting, come up with to destroy the content and enjoyment of films and television programming. Of course money is behind it all, but still, why not show your viewers some courtesy? They seem to think credits are unimportant to the viewers, and to many they are. Some of us like to know the name of the actor who played a certain character, or the composer of the great music (that the network announcer is promoting over), who directed it, etc. As mentioned before they shrink credits until they are illegible, they blab their sickening promos over the music, sometimes they scroll the credits so fast they are a blur. A new and annoying, irritating practice is running the making of videos during credits. The local stations get their licks in too, running tornado/weather watches and warnings, some of which take up two-thirds of the screen; and reminders when a show runs over that the News will follow, meaning that they figure their audience to be a bunch of idiots who could never figure that out for themselves. Actually I abhor watching network TV and local TV as they are the worst at these practices, but of late, the stooges at Pay Cable and the Premium channels are pulling the same crap on paying customers. The latest is the most ridiculous practice of all developed by some cretin at FMC (Fox Movie Channel). This involves running banners across the screen every few minutes with trivial notes on the production of the film. It's like watching a movie with someone waving their hand in front of your face. Extremely annoying, idiotic, serving absolutely no purpose whatsoever other than to annoy the viewer. I had planned to tape a copy of Working Girl and when I viewed the results my blood pressure went soaring! I wanted to strangle the moron who came up with such a stupid concept. In fact, I still do! Obviously most viewers don't care. No one seems to complain. I guess people don't realize they have a say anymore.

Now we take on:

TV GUIDE'S 50 GREATEST TV CHARACTERS EVER

As we've said before, such lists are ludicrous and ripe for controversy and discussion. To be sure this one is loaded with controversy. Where are: George "Kingfish" Stevens, Andy Brown, Algonquin J. Calhoun (Amos 'n' Andy); Fish, Nick Yemana, Inspector Luger (Barney Miller); Clarabell the Clown, Buffalo Bob Smith and Howdy Doody (The Howdy Doody Show); Mollie Goldberg (The Gertrude Berg Show); PeeWee Herman (PeeWee's Playhouse); Mr. Phelps, Cinammon Carter, Rollin Hand (Mission: Impossible); Rowdy Yates, Gil Favor (Rawhide); Hoss Cartwright (Bonanza); Irma Peterson (My Friend Irma); Tonto (The Lone Ranger); Pancho (The Cisco Kid); Festus Haggen, Matt Dillon and Chester (Gunsmoke); Sgt. Chip Saunders (Combat); Cosmo Topper (Topper); Mrs. Gurney (Mister Peepers); Aunt Clara, Uncle Arthur, Dr. Bombay, Larry Tate (Bewitched); Dr. Bob Hartley, Howard Borden (The Bob Newhart Show); Fred Mertz (I Love Lucy); Vern Albright, Mrs. Odets (My Little Margie); Lew Marie (That Girl); Gomer Pyle, Goober Pyle, Aunt Bea, Floyd the Barber (The Andy Griffith Show); Sgt. Vince Carter (Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.); Danny Partridge (The Partridge Family); Benson the Butler, Chester tate, Burt Campbell, Chuck & Bob the Dummy Campbell (Soap); Roseann Rosannadanna, Ed Grimley, The Coneheads, The Church Lady (Saturday Night Live); Laura Ingalls, Mrs. Harriet Oleson, Nellie Oleson, Mr. Edwards (Little House on the Prairie); Cloud Dancing, Mike Quinn, Loren Bray (Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman); Monica, Tess (Touched by an Angel); Superman (The Adventures of Superman); Data (Star Trek: The Next Generation); Seven-of-Nine, The Doctor (Star Trek: Voyager); Quark, Odo (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine); Rocket J. Squirrel, Bullwinkle Moose, Dudley Do-Right (Rocky & Bullwinkle) and so many, many more?
Not only is George "Kingfish" Stevens deserving, but politically incorrect or not, he deserves 1st Place on such a list. Notice how many of TV's earlier shows are missing from this list suggesting the voters and their criteria were set up by "Baby Boomers." The same can be said for all current such lists. There are a few on this list who should not have even been considered and some who not only are most deserving but belong higher on the list and the reverse is true also. Here, then, is TV Guide's List along with my comments on its contents:

TV GUIDE'S 50 GREATEST TV CHARACTERS EVER

1. Louie De Palma (Taxi) - He belongs but much further down the list. 2. Ed Norton (The Honeymooners) - Same goes for Ol' Norton. 3. Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy) - She'd be further down on my list, but included. 4. Fonzie (Happy Days) - He'd never make my list! 5. Archie Bunker (All in the Family) - He'd be much further down also. 6. Mr. Spock (Star Trek) - Spock would be in the middle somewhere. 7. Lt. Columbo (Columbo) - He wouldn't have made my list at all...even at 100. 8. Emma Peel (The Avengers) - Miss Peel wouldn't be on my list either. 9. Barney Fife (The Andy Griffith Show) - He's in the Top 3 on any such list! 10. George Costanza (Seinfeld) - He wouldn't have made my list at all! 11. J.R. Ewing (Dallas) - Sorry, J.R. you're outa here! 12. Felix Unger and Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple) - They might make my list of 200. 13. Ralph Kramden (The Honeymooners) - He'd be high on my list. 14. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons) - Homer would also be up there on my list along with his whole family. My list is getting awfully long! 15. Lily Harper (I'll Fly Away) - Who? "Bye ma'am!" 16. Sgt. Bilko (The Phil Silvers Show) - Ernie Bilko would be on my list in the middle or higher. 17. Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties) - Sorry Mike, you didn't make the cut... not even at 200. 18. Theo Kojak (Kojak) - He might make it towards the end. 19. Maxwell Smart (Get Smart!) - Agent 56 is high on my list. 20. Eddie Haskell (Leave It to Beaver) - Eddie's up there too! 21. Mary Richards (The Mary Tyler Moore Show) - Mary's high on my list too. 22. Maynard G. Krebs (The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis) - I'm not so sure about Maynard but Gilligan? No way! 23. Andy Sipowicz (NYPD Blue) - He might make my 200 list. 24. Paladin (Have Gun, Will Travel) - He's definitely on my list. 25. Jim Rockford (The Rockford Files) - Jim made the cut..easy...so did his pop, Rocky. 26. Roseanne (Roseanne) - You're on there too Rosie along with Dan and daughter Darlene. 27. Steve Urkel (Family Matters) - Urkel you definitely made it! 28. Edina Monsoon (Absolutely Fabulous) - Who? Does anyone watch this show? Not me! 29. Ted Baxter (The Mary Tyler Moore Show) - Ted is very high on my list along with Lou Grant, Georgette & Mary. 30. Frank Pembleton (Homicide: Life on the Street) - Can't comment on this guy as I'm unfamiliar with him and the show...he may be most deserving. 31. Niles Crane (Frasier) - Sure enough, but where's Frasier and Dad? 32. Jim Ignatowski (Taxi) - Very deserving, one of the greatest! 33. Diane Chambers (Cheers) - No way! Get her outa here! 34. Mork (Mork & Mindy) - Sorry Robin, you didn't make the cut. 35. Kramer (Seinfeld) - Who could say no to this guy...he's towards the top. 36. Fred Sanford (Sanford and Son) - You betcha Fred's there and Aunt Esther too! 37. Hawk (Spenser: For Hire) - No way! No mediocre characters on my list! 38. Jane Hathaway (The Beverly Hillbillies) - Miss Jane is most welcome along with Granny, Jethro and Mr. Drysdale. 39. Artie (The Larry Sanders Show) - For sure, along with Larry Sanders and Hank Kingsley. 40. Alexis Carrington (Dynasty) - No way! Not on MY list! 41. Dr. Mark Craig (St. Elsewhere) - He's deserving but would be on my list of 150. 42. Bill Bittinger (Buffalo Bill) - Such a shortlived series but he was memorable. Maybe! 43. Adam (Northern Exposure) - Not on my list! 44. David Addison (Moonlighting) - No, you didn't survive the cut. 45. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect) - Who? What? Sorry, you're outa here. 46. Xena (Xena: Warrior Princess) - You gotta be kidding! No way! 47. Douglas Wambaugh (Picket Fences) - He's a good one and might make the cut on 100. 48. Miles Drentell (Thirtysomething) - This choice reflects those who created this list and would not make it on mine. 49. Elliot Carlin (The Bob Newhart Show) - What's Mr. Carlin doing this far back? And where's Bob, Howard and Mr. Herd? 50. Maurice "Buddy" Sorrell (The Dick Van Dyke Show) - He'd be way down if he made my list. It's questionable.

AFI's LIST of TOP 50 MOVIE STARS

Here is the List of Top 50 Actors & Actresses:

1. Humphrey Bogart................. 1. Katharine Hepburn 2. Cary Grant...................... 2. Bette Davis 3. James Stewart................... 3. Audrey Hepburn 4. Marlon Brando................... 4. Ingrid Bergman 5. Fred Astaire.................... 5. Greta Garbo 6. Henry Fonda..................... 6. Marilyn Monroe 7. Clark Gable..................... 7. Elizabeth Taylor 8. James Cagney.................... 8. Judy Garland 9. Spencer Tracy................... 9. Marlene Dietrich 10. Charlie Chaplin................. 10. Joan Crawford 11. Gary Cooper..................... 11. Barbara Stanwyck 12. Gregory Peck.................... 12. Claudette Colbert 13. John Wayne...................... 13. Grace Kelly 14. Laurence Olivier................ 14. Ginger Rogers 15. Gene Kelly...................... 15. Mae West 16. Orson Welles.................... 16. Vivien Leigh 17. Kirk Douglas.................... 17. Lillian Gish 18. James Dean...................... 18. Shirley Temple 19. Burt Lancaster.................. 19. Rita Hayworth 20. The Marx Brothers............... 20. Lauren Bacall 21. Buster Keaton................... 21. Sophia Loren 22. Sidney Poitier.................. 22. Jean Harlow 23. Robert Mitchum.................. 23. Carole Lombard 24. Edward G. Robinson.............. 24. Mary Pickford 25. William Holden.................. 25. Ava Gardner
What do you think? I know I'm opinionated, but it's fun to second guess these so called experts on motion pictures and acting. I know if the "common people" were polled, the results would be different but that's what's fun about these Lists!

HOW TO PROPERLY ENJOY A MOVIE

In the 1990s people do not seem to know the correct way to enjoy a movie. Movies were meant to be viewed on the Big Screen in a theatre with the best sound system available (at the very least digital sound), and with an appreciative and considerate audience. To watch a movie only on video tape, cable TV or, even worse, commercial TV is cheating one's self out of the intended "movie experience." Commercial television butchers film content to the point of absurdity. Whatever mood or rhythm was created on the film is destroyed by cutting entire scenes, dubbing over explicit dialog, commercial breaks and even distractions in the viewer's home. Some would argue movies are too expensive, especially for a family. There are daily bargain matinees where the prices are significantly reduced. Never, ever bring a child or infant into a movie theatre! You are violating the rights and privacy of others. Do not talk above a whisper in a theatre and keep chatting or comments to a minimum! Never limit yourself to one genre, type or kind of a movie. Some people cannot enjoy a movie unless it has a happy ending. If all movies ended happily...we'd know the ending at the beginning. Some people like only westerns or slasher flicks or detective movies or science fiction...such limitations deny them of some terrific film experiences. Even worse are those, mostly kids and teens, who will not watch a film in black & white. I must admit however, that I'm not thrilled with silent films, so I guess I should practice what I preach. We should not put such limitations on ourselves. To do so is depriving us of some great movie experiences!

THE AFI's LIST OF 100 GREATEST AMERICAN FILMS

This list has been controversial from day 1. There are so many omissions and such unusual choices included that it invites criticism. Here is a list of some serious omissions culled from the Internet plus my own choices: Braveheart; The Shawshank Redemption; How Green Was My Valley; Spartacus; The Ten Commandments (a bit hokey but still a classic); Sons of the Desert and Way Out West (how could they leave out the greatest comedy team ever?); Stalag 17; Terms of Endearment; Goldfinger; Road to Morocco; Battleground; The Longest Day; The Killing Fields; Gettysburg; Full Metal Jacket; Birdman of Alcatraz; Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; The Miracle Worker; Charade; Cabaret; The King and I; Little Big Man; Paths of Glory. There are many others that might not immediately come to mind but these are some great films.
Among those chosen for the List are many I would not even include on a list of 1000 Great Films. Also those that I agree should be on the list are not necessarily in the order I feel they should be. For instance: Ben Hur at # 72; Dances With Wolves at # 75; Close Encounters of the Third Kind at # 64; E.T.: the Extra-Terrestrial way back at # 25? These great films deserve much higher positioning!
Here are the films I would argue do not belong on a Top 100 List of Great Films starting from 100 and moving towards the top. I will list only those I would omit:

100. Yankee Doodle Dandy - Cagney is a great dancer but the film is boring. 99. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - This film is not only unrealistic for its time but quite dated. 98. Unforgiven - It's only a mediocre western. 95. Pulp Fiction - Well crafted but too heavy on mean spirited people, and gratuitous violence (which the director wants you to laugh at...it ain't funny!). 94. Goodfellas - Same goes for this one. I'm not a Scorsese fan, but I appreciate his love for movies. 93. The Apartment - A decent film but not worthy of the Top 100. 91. My Fair Lady - There are better musicals more deserving. 88. Easy Rider - It's quite dated and is only noted for making Nicholson a star. Still, it belongs in the 300-400s. 83. Platoon - There are better, more deserving films on the Viet Nam war. 82. Giant - Overlong and boring. 81. Modern Times - I'm not a Chaplin fan. 79. The Deer Hunter - Too weird and what became of its director! 78. Rocky - I never liked this series about a dumb guy who triumphs! 77. American Graffiti - Very overrated film...boring. 76. City Lights - Chaplin again. 74. The Gold Rush - It was clever but not great. 71. Forest Gump - One of the most overrated films of all time. I thought it was stupid, slow moving and a bore. It did have a great music soundtrack however. 69. Shane - One of the worst westerns ever made...a snoozer. 68. An American in Paris - A downright boring musical. How did this ever win the Best Picture Oscar? 66. Network - I couldn't get through the first half hour of this one. That is a weak argument though...maybe I should see it again. No, maybe not! 59. Rebel Without A Cause - It's OK but not great. Did teens ever act like that in the 1950s? 58. Fantasia - The most boring cartoon I have ever seen. Pretty pictures but it goes on and on and on... Where was Pinocchio? 56. M*A*S*H - I never was a fan of either the TV series or the film. Just not great! 51. The Philadelphia Story - I can think of scads of films by Hepburn, Stewart and Cary Grant better than this mediocre comedy where you smile instead of laugh! 50. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - I've seen this movie more times than any other film I didn't like. I don't know what that means except that the film is mediocre. 47. Taxi Driver - Scorsese again his usual weird, violent style. Why does he love violence so much? 46. A Clockwork Orange - This one had a great music score but that's about all. I hated it! 45. A Streetcar Named Desire - Ol' Tennessee Williams and his obnoxious characters speaking like poets. Sorry, wrong number! 39. Doctor Zhivago - This film didn't "grab" me and I know a lot of people liked it. I may watch it again and re-evaluate it along with some others on this list. 36. Midnight Cowboy - This one might make my Top 300. 35. It Happened One Night - Same goes for this one...maybe the Top 400. 33. High Noon - Another very boring western. Where are the all good ones? 31. Annie Hall - It had a few good one-liners and scenes but it is not worthy of the Top 100. 28. Apocalypse Now - Ultra confusing but great cinematography. Someone please tell me what it was about! 27. Bonnie and Clyde - Good, but not worthy of the Top 100. 26. Dr. Strangelove - Just didn't appeal to me. It was amusing but not hilarious. 24. Raging Bull - Another film about mean spirited, violent people. Thanks, but no thanks! 22. 2001: A Space Odyssey - This one has my vote for worst Science Fiction film ever made. What the hell was it about? Did I miss something! 16. All About Eve - I haven't really seen this one but it looks boring and I just can't seem to find the time to watch it. 14. Some Like it Hot - A good comedy but it belongs in the Top 300 as it's not that great. 10. Singin' in the Rain - It was on OK film but I think it belongs further down the list. 8. On the Waterfront - It's good, but not as great as the voters think. I'd put it way down the list. 7. The Graduate - Never liked it. And now it seems really dated.

As for the others, some like Manchurian Candidate; To Kill A Mockingbird; Citizen Kane and Casablanca probably deserve to be included. A few I haven't seen and the others its been a long time since I saw them. I'd argue the positioning too but it's all a moot point. These lists are created to invoke discussion and they do create controversy but it is fun to discuss such trivia.

The WORST AWARDS of ALL:
The EMMYS
When discussing Award Ceremonies or Shows, it's easy to second guess the winners and to judge or criticize the voting procedures, but no Academy or Awards Committee has as weak a track record as the Television Academy (Academy of Television Arts & Sciences). Not only are its annual choices questionable, but the Academy has no sense of itself. It adds, deletes and alters categories regularly. It cannot decide who is or is not eligible in categories or as recipients. It ignored cable TV for years, it cannot define a made for TV movie or miniseries. The Academy lacks integrity and credibility.
In the 1960s it awarded Werner Klemperer Best Supporting Comedy Actor Emmy but ignored veteran character actors like George Tobias (Bewitched), Frank Sutton (Gomer Pyle, USMC), Howard McNear (The Andy Griffith Show), Lew Parker (That Girl). They were not even nominated. It ignored classic TV series like Amos 'n' Andy, My Little Margie, Topper and many others. In 1989 it awarded 18 nominations to the great miniseries Lonesome Dove, but it won only 7 technical awards. The Best Miniseries Emmy went to the forgettable War and Remembrance. It also snubbed Robert Duvall (Lonesome Dove) for his best performance ever. Still, these choices are not the only kinks in the Television Academy. It cannot define itself, it changes its operating procedures almost annually.
The recent addition of its Hall of Fame is a perfect example of its lack of integrity. It honors current popular actors like Betty White, Alan Alda, Ed Asner and avoids innovators and television pioneers like Arthur Godfrey, Dr. Frances Horwich (Ding Dong School); "Buffalo" Bob Smith, Paul Winchell and Art Linkletter. We won't even touch upon it's snubs of Susan Lucci and it's adoration of Oprah Winfrey. This Academy needs a complete overhaul to restore it into a credible organization with an air of integrity!

The SAD STATE OF MUSIC TODAY
The 1990s have been one of the worst decades ever for the Pop/Rock music scene. Actually the decline has been on since the mid-80s. Bland music by the likes of Sting, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Boyz 2 Men and others have dominated. A few groups came along here and there like R.E.M., Live, Soul Asylum and Crash Test Dummies with fresh, original sounds but they were the exception rather than the rule. Proof of this "void" in Pop/Rock is the current boom in Country music as people have crossed over to find something new and exciting.
My own personal tastes range from New Age to Classical; Foreign music to Synthesizer and everything in between. Still, one form that has always been dependable is Movie Soundtracks. A large portion of my CD collection is Movie Soundtracks or Movie Music. Some of today's best composers are creating music for the movies. Among the best working today are Randy Edelman, Danny Elfman, Hans Zimmer, James Horner, Ry Cooder, Carter Burwell and others. Then there are the great legendary movie composers like Bernard Herrmann, Elmer Bernstein, Dimitri Tiompkin, Miklos Rosza, Nino Rota and so many more. To see a list of some great Movie Soundtracks, check my list on the Up To The Minute Page. Let's hope that soon we will have a new revolution in Pop/Rock...it's been much too long a wait already.

HOW COME.....?
This column asks Hollywood: How Come... you do things the crazy way you do. Often the answer is: For Dramatic Effect! Still, many of these things don't make sense to the intelligent viewer. We invite you to send us, via E-mail, some of your own How Comes. We'll post them here and give you credit. Here goes:

How Come....
Cars spinning on grass, sand or dirt have loud squealing tires sometimes noisier than cars spinning on asphalt?
Women wear heavy makeup to bed in the movies but nary a black or red smear on their satin pillows and their hair isn't even messed up after a night's sleep?
Villains never "rub out" the hero the easy way with one shot...but rather think up the dumbest way to eliminate him, offering him the perfect opportunity to escape?
How come movies are never 100% factual but rather create composite characters, situations that never occurred and even alter history?
No one in a movie ever locks his car? And, in the same vein, in westerns how come they never secure their horses or wagons to the hitching posts?
Film characters rarely have remorse for killing a person or react with fear, anxiety, grief or compassion over a death in films?
Aliens from other planets almost always speak English?
From Linda:
In the movies the star ALWAYS gets a parking space immediately, right in front of wherever they want to go.
On TV series they use the same character actors over and over in different roles? There must be a large pool of fresh faces to choose from.

REVIEWS
Star ratings: **** = Excellent *** = Good ** = Fair * = Poor

Saving Private Ryan
This film easily gets my vote for film of the year (1998). As in most Steven Spielberg films, you are seeing something from a "new" perspective...or in a new way. In this case Spielberg puts the viewer right in the midst of battle, allowing one to feel the sense of terror, fear, bewilderment, frustration and chaos of a battle. Its first 20 minutes are excruciating to watch, but important for one to get as real a sense of war and battle as a film can deliver. The story involves a mission to save a private whose three brothers have all been killed in battle. The cast is magnificent as are all of the production values, script, music, cinematography, special effects, etc. War has never been portrayed on film like this before.
My rating = ****
What Dreams May Come
While this movie is fairly well acted and visually stunning, something is definitely lacking. It seemed slow-paced and dull to me. The cast was fine, especially Cuba Gooding Jr. and Annabella Sciorra. Although I realize heaven, as portrayed in the film, was the Robin Williams character's vision or version it still seemed boring. It introduced many views and concepts from various religions including reincarnation and that was stimulating but still something was lacking with this film. The tragedies of this family were too contrived as all of them die before their time and none of natural causes.
My rating = ** 1/2

Elizabeth
I was really looking forward to this film as I really enjoy historical epics. I'm quite familiar with the story of Elizabeth I of England but I found the film to be ultra-confusing with an extreme abundance of characters, many not even identified. The pacing of the film was good as it moved quite steadily. The cast was made up of unfamiliar faces, save Sirs Richard Attenborough; John Gielgud and Australian actor and Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush. Cate Blanchette was good but not great. I felt a little more fire in her role would have "picked things up." The script was most complex and extremely difficult to follow...for me anyway. The story covers the period of Elizabeth's metamorphosis from shy courtier to powerful Queen but ends just as her character gets interesting. I really liked the look of the film (art direction) but it could have been so much better.
My rating = ** 1/2

A Bug's Life
Pixar, the company that innovated computer animation and has produced Toy Story and some excellent short features, is racking up a number of quality productions. Although directed at kids, their films entertain people of all ages. A Bug's Life is no exception! It, like the other Pixar Productions, has a surprisingly fun story, an extremely witty script, a wonderful (vocal) cast and fabulous animation. The story involves a colony of ants who are controlled by a small gang of grasshoppers. The ants must find food for the grasshoppers or pay the consequences. After an ant named Flik causes a stockpile of food for the grasshoppers to be spilled in a pond the ants are faced with a dilemma: more food for the grasshoppers plus stockpiling food for their own colony. Flik searches for warrior bugs to help fight the grasshoppers but through a misunderstanding ends up with a circus troupe of various bugs. It goes from there with wonderful characters, great jokes, lots of action and fun! Part of the fun is trying to recognize the actors doing the voices and stay for the credits for an added bonus.
My rating = *** 1/2

Starship Troopers
By the time I saw Starship Troopers I had heard mostly negative reviews of it so therefore my expectations were not very high. I think this is the most objective way to view a movie. I found Starship Troopers very entertaining, an interesting enough story, having fabulous special effects, characters were stereotypical but ok. The weaknesses would be in its length and the acting, which is quite mediocre. The story is simply a battle of humans against giant intergalactic insects. Touches of satire add to the fun. The computer generated bugs were fantastic and pretty scary looking; worthy of a viewing. If you don't like bloody, gory scenes, stay away.
My rating = ***

Daylight
Talk about tense movies, here's one that'll keep you on the edge of your seat. This one stars Sylvester Stallone as an ex-cop who goes above and beyond the call of duty to help rescue a group of people trapped in a toll tunnel under the Hudson River. Just for sheer suspense this film rates kudos. It's fast paced and never lags. Acting is fine and the effects, again, carry things along.
My rating = ***

Mighty Joe Young (1998)
The best thing about the new version of Mighty Joe Young is Joe himself. The story is not all that involving, the acting is very mediocre and the directing is sluggish, but Joe is worth the price of admission. He is a combination of animatronics, computer animation and puppetry but it all works and very well indeed. He outacts the cast and has "personality." Also a plus is the music score by James Horner with a wonderful African touch. The story involves an animal "out of his element" which has become quite a cliche. Nothing new here. Still the film has some charm and for that reason my rating = ***

The Thin Red Line
People will compare this movie to its counterpart, Saving Private Ryan, but it stands well on its own. The Thin Red Line is a more poetic, philosophical film than Ryan. It asks questions about war. It is also a beautiful film with stunning cinematography and a haunting music score...both of Oscar calibre. Interestingly, the unknown members of the cast are far more impressive than its bigger stars. Acting is first-rate. Terence Malick, the director, has made a fascinating film...not as easy to follow as Ryan, but satisfying none-the-less.
My rating = *** 1/2

Amistad
I tell people that the best way to appreciate a movie is in a good theater, with an audience and a great sound system but often I miss the opportunity to catch movies when they are released. This was the case with Amistad which I finally viewed on HBO. To be honest, I was in no hurry to see another film on "enslavement of the blacks", as we've been beaten over the head with them in recent years, so I passed on a few chances to see it. Well, Spielberg always delivers and he did again with Amistad. It blew me away! It's not so much about blacks as "man" himself and his struggle to be free! It has all the elements of a great film: literate script, great acting (especially by Djimon Hounsou as Cinque and Anthony Hopkins as John Quincy Adams), magnificent cinematography, fine editing, a stirringly brilliant music score, stunning costuming and, above all, excellent directing. The story is very involving and there were few, if any, slow moments. I would recommend watching it alone, without any distractions, to enjoy it fully. It touched me emotionally as few films do and for that reason alone I highly recommend this fabulous film. If history had been presented to us in school in this manner we'd all be better educated and take more pride in America's legacy.
My rating = ****

The Sweet Hereafter
I had mixed feelings about this film. It's the type that makes a good TV movie. I have a difficult time following any movie that jumps back & forth in time. I find them ultra confusing and this one deals with three different time frames. It involves a lawyer who proposes a lawsuit to families of bus crash victims in a small Canadian town. It jumps from the actual interviews, to post-interview scenes and back to the accident. Very confusing. It was also very slow-paced and sluggish for my tastes. Critics loved it and I would admit that the acting is superb but not enough to warrant accolades.
My rating = **

Life is Beautiful
The word charming comes to mind in describing Life is Beautiful. It is a very good film but not a great one. It has all the elements of a terrific film: cinematography, acting, great music score, tight direction and more. The script, although a bit improbable, is very involving. The film is heavier on comedy than drama and I think that affected my emotional reactions to the dramatic parts. Normally a film on the Holocaust would affect me greatly but here, not so much. Story involves a man trying to shelter his family from the horrors of the Holocaust while in a concentration camp. The first part of the film deals with his romancing of an aristocratic teacher. All in all well done!
My rating = ***

As Good As It Gets
A good example of how a second viewing can change one's feeling about a film. Originally I saw this film in a theater and had great expectations due to its Academy Award nominations and was disappointed. In my estimation, it's not an Oscar caliber film but it is a good film. Nicholson and Helen Hunt are good as is Greg Kinnear and the rest of the cast. The film has a nice romantic story and interesting characters as well as good production values. I appreciated it more the second time around. Story involves an obsessive-compulsive man's relationship with a single-parent waitress and other assorted characters and his metamorphosis into a decent human being. Watch this one two times.
My rating = ***

Primary Colors
This film delivered, for me anyway. It actually held my ever shrinking attention span. It does reflect current political happenings and is more than just similar to what has happened to our current President. It is told pretty much tongue-in-cheek with a dash of humor and some pathos also. The story involves the sleazy side of politics and what is "necessary" to get elected. Newcomer, to me anyway, Adrian Lester was a fresh new face and a fine actor and held the film together as did the always dependable Kathy Bates. The remainder of the cast was also good. I found the film involving and entertaining.
My rating = ***

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
I think critics feel it's their duty to criticize! Why else would they find fault with SW1:TPM? Did they see a different version than I did? Do they look for fault in a movie? That's no way to go about viewing a film. Also, don't set your expectations so damned high...just look for entertainment. Heavy messages, plot twists and magnificent dialog should be bonuses...the frosting on the cake, but don't expect so much. I found SW1:TPM to be an awesome experience! Maybe it could have been better, but it was fabulous the way it was. The acting was fine, the story made sense, the music was terrific and elements of comedy sweetened the mix...but oh, those special effects! It was all I expected from the genius of George Lucas who, in my mind, is on a level with Charles Dickens. The plot is good vs. evil, the basic plot of most films. A blockade is set up to stop trade and force the small planet Naboo to join the Federation. With the help of two Jedi warriors and assorted sidekicks and other characters, including R2D2 and C3PO, as well as the young Anakin Skywalker (soon to become Darth Vader) a battle ensues. The film takes the viewer to so many wondrous places and introduces such incredible aliens, droids, spacecrafts and weaponry that it is a feast for the eyes. There is so much detail that one wishes to stop the film on each frame...the video should sell extremely well. Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman are great...Jake Lloyd holds things together, no small task for such a young actor, but it is George Lucas who shines...the man is a genius!
My rating = ****

The Horse Whisperer
I have to admit that I was leery about an almost 3 hour movie about a horse and relationships, which is about all I knew of this movie prior to viewing it. I should have remembered that Robert Redford does not disappoint! This movie was a masterpiece! It has all the elements I require of a four star film. The cast is impeccably perfect, the story is involving, the slow paced directing never bores or strays from keeping one involved in the story, the music score is magnificent, the cinematography, editing, special effects and all the rest are superb. One review said, "This film is a symphony!" and I couldn't agree more. I think it's the finest film Redford has directed. My only question: Where was this film at Oscar time? Did the voters not see it?
My rating = ****

The Negotiator
This film holds one's attention pretty much from frame one thru its end credits. It's an engrossing story of a Chicago Police negotiator...one who talks criminals and hostage takers out of their situations. In this case the negotiator, played brilliantly by Samuel L. Jackson, becomes the hostage taker when he is framed for a crime he did not commit. Credit should go to F. Gary Gray for his taut direction, but it is Jackson, with able help from Kevin Spacey, who makes the film work. Both Spacey and Jackson are racking up some fine film credits.
My rating = ** 1/2

Matrix
I've always felt that if a film reviewer was not "in the mood" for viewing a film it should be stated in his review. I felt it unfair that a film should get a negative critique because of the reviewer's mood. Such was the case for my viewing of "Matrix." I would say that it is definitely a stunning film visually...I believe the term is "eye candy." The leads are OK, especially Laurence Fishburne, but it was nothing all that fresh and new. So many films today deal with "alternate realities" that the subject is becoming stale. Still, the film demands one's attention. It's a Special Effects film and they are fun to watch. Technical credits are superb! Maybe if I'd seen it on another day I'd have given it three stars, it's hard to say.
My rating = ** 1/2

Dangerous Beauty
This film is a sumptuous spectacle and a treat for lovers of costume drama. It is a sensual film dealing with the caste system and how it affects the destiny of two lovers from different backgrounds. Catherine McCormack (Braveheart) is most engaging and seductive as the Venetian girl who becomes a courtesan to ensure the love of the man of her dreams. Rufus Sewell is excellent as her lover. Script is based on a true story. Cinematography, costuming and art direction are superb as is the enchanting music score. The film bogs down a bit towards the end but is still a feast for the true movie lover.
My rating = ***

Six Days and Seven Nights
This movie was surprisingly funny and sweet. A neat little romantic comedy and different than I expected. Not a great film but a good one. What makes it work is its cast: Ann Heche, Harrison Ford, David Schwimmer et al. The story is simply: a couple are marooned on a desert island on the eve of her engagement. 'Nuff said! The cinematography is breathtaking and the music score by the incomparable Randy Edelman is awesome. Any movie these days that can handle my ever decreasing attention span has something to offer!
My rating = ***

Wrongfully Accused
If you want a good laugh, and you must be in the right mood for it, then check out this crazy film. Don't expect a neatly honed script or a logical plot or anything else for that matter as this is one goofy film but it does have some laughs and fun! It's made in the "Airplane" nonsensical mode. They whiz satire, slapstick and nonsense before you and if one thing doesn't strike you funny, something else may. Just hang in there. It is stupid, dumb and goofy, but geez...just enjoy it for what it is. It is basically a takeoff of 1993's "The Fugitive" starring Leslie Nielsen, but there are also spoofs of North By Northwest, Braveheart and the Mission: Impossible film. Minnesotans will get an extra kick out of it as characters and locations are named for many familiar Minnesota place names. Sit back, relax and prepare to enjoy a stupid but fun movie.
My rating = ** 1/2

The Truman Show
Sometimes procrastination can actually enhance the enjoyment of a movie. I was anxious to see The Truman Show when it was initially released but instead waited until I felt I was in the right "mood." It paid off, for me at least, as I truly enjoyed this film immensely. I had an idea of what it was about, but I very much appreciated the satiric slant of the movie's message. Jim Carrey was superb as Truman, the man doomed to an idyllic existence and Ed Harris was terrific as the pseudo diety/TV producer. All aspects of the film were topnotch: acting, script, direction, music, cinematography, effects, art and set direction, etc. It's a shame the film was ignored by the Academy as it was most deserving of award nominations.
My rating = *** 1/2

The Man in the Iron Mask
One of my favorite film genres is the period costume drama or epic film. This version of Dumas' classic story is quite lavish and well-acted although Leonardo DiCaprio is miscast in the title role. He does admirably but is outacted by the rest of the entire cast. Gabriel Byrne steals the film as D'Artagnan and gets great support from Gerard Depardieu, Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich as the Three Musketeers. The art direction is excellent, the music score fine but the direction by first-timer Randall Wallace (screenwriter of Braveheart) is off. The pace is a bit slow and sluggish. Another thing that annoyed me was the overdone sound effects editing...too loud and at one point a man picks a sword up off the ground and you hear a metallic sound as if in swordplay or placing it in a scabbard...too much!
My rating = ** 1/2

Pleasantville
The only problem I had with Pleasantville was its message...unless I interpreted it wrong. The story was interesting enough, the acting fine by the entire cast and the directing seemed fine as it moved at a good pace but its theme bothered me. The story involves two 1990s teens who are magically swept into the idyllic world of a 1950s television sitcom where everyone is happy, nothing ever goes wrong and life is uncomplicated, even if everything is in black & white. As the plot unfolds and the 90s teens introduce the naive citizens of Pleasantville to 90s morals and daring escapism from boredom their lives become, literally, more colorful, but also more chaotic. Where they once were happy, now their lives are in turmoil and the town is divided on many issues. The answer seems to be to convince the entire town to "get with the 90s" and accept the consequences. Did I miss something?
My rating = ** 1/2

Toy Story 2
If you've read any reviews of Toy Story 2 you know that most agree it's better than the original and, in some ways they are correct, at very least it's as good as the original and that's saying a lot. The original Toy Story was a masterpiece on many levels and this version is too. The difference is this one has some new and fascinating characters, the computer animation is even more detailed than in the original and the story is even better on top of all that. The only complaint I have, and it's quite a minor one, is that I liked the version of "You've Got a Friend in Me" much better in the original. I won't elaborate on the story except to say that it has a poignant "message" as did the first one. I can't wait to get the video as, like Toy Story, this one is packed with so many details and intricacies that you can't possibly catch them all in one or two viewings. Don't miss this gem.
My rating = ****

GALAXY QUEST
This is a little gem of a comedy with some hilarious scenes and some touching, warm ones. It's a spoof of the whole Star Trek phenomenom and does it hit the mark! Anyone who's a Trekkie or mild Star Trek fan will really enjoy this one. If you've seen the TV promos you know that some actors from a defunct sci-fi TV series, very much like Star Trek, are mistaken for the real thing by aliens and invited by them to save their home planet, but it's more involved than that and there is emphasis on character as well as plot so it works on both levels. The cast is perfect with Alan Rickman adding yet another gem to his impressive list of credits. Effects are good, writing is fine as are all aspects of this film.
My rating = ***

OCTOBER SKY
Although critics might say this film is nothing new, does every idea have to be fresh, new and innovative? This is the run-of-the-mill "I'm gonna make it outa this town!" story but it's filmed with enthusiasm, energy and good pacing. The cast deserves most of the credit for giving this film "life." I have to admit that it provoked a few tears out of me just for its warmth. Story involves a young man in a coal mining town who becomes fascinated with rockets after witnessing Sputnik crossing the evening sky in the 1950s. His quest to launch a rocket serves as the base of the story. Chris Cooper as the coal mining father and Laura Dern as a dedicated teacher stand out in an excellent cast led by newcomer Jake Gyllenhaal.
My rating = ****

THE GREEN MILE
Another great Stephen King vehicle, much in the tradition of "The Shawshank Redemption." If you're expecting this film to be as good as Shawshank you'll be disappointed but it stands tall on its own. Film has all the accoutrements, topnotch acting, well-paced directing, a wonderful music score, lush cinematography and more. The story involves 'life' on death row at a Louisiana prison during the 1930s. It is a wonderful character study thanks to a fine ensemble of veteran actors. It has a slight Stephen King twist but the film delivers. You will be talking about this one days after you've seen it.
My rating = ****

THE CIDER HOUSE RULES
This is another warm film that puts you right there, back in time to the 1940s. It has an unusual subject matter that may even be controversial but is handled well and with good taste. Film involves a hospital/orphanage where unwanted children are born and put up for adoption. One boy is trained by the staff doctor, Michael Caine, to assist in surgery and abortions. Story involves his coming of age. Film makes its point without beating one over the head. Again, the film has a fine cast led by Caine and Tobey Maguire, excellent music score, lush New England cinematography and a swiftly moving story. It is long at 2 hours 11 mins.
My rating = ****

GLADIATOR
It's great to see the Epic film making a comeback and this film is typical of that exciting genre. I just had a feeling this film would be enjoyable and I was right. The story is basically the same as the 1964 film 'Fall of the Roman Empire' and deals with the story of the Emperors Marcus Aurelius and his son Commodus (played by Richard Harris and Joaquin Phoenix). It begins with a ferocious battle with the German barbarians in which the solid General, Maximus (Russell Crowe), leads the Romans to victory thus winning favor over Marcus Aurelius' own son as heir to the throne. From here the intrigue begins. The story is given depth by its involving script and the comprehensive portrayals of its fabulous cast. The late Oliver Reed steals every scene he's in as a trainer of Gladiators. Others in the cast are: Djimon Honsou, Connie Nielsen in a star turn, the always fascinating Derek Jacoby, David Hemmings and Tommy Flanagan (Braveheart). Digitally filmed scenes of Rome and the Colloseum are seamless. Production is top-notch! It's long at 2 hours and 34 mins. but it does move fast.
My rating = ***1/2

DINOSAUR
This is one terrific little movie. The type I would highly recommend seeing in a theater with a large screen and THX or better sound. It's a bit intense for toddlers but kids from 6 to 90 should really enjoy it. Initially when I saw the previews (during the run of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace) I had great expectations for this film. When I learned that the dinosaurs would talk I felt it would ruin the film; but the film is still quite entertaining and I felt the voices were appropriately dubbed by those great actors Joan Plowright, Della Reese, Ossie Davis, D.B. Sweeney, Juliana Margulies and others. If anything, the film is too upbeat for its subject matter: the beginning of the end of the great dinosaurs. The story involves the start of the meteor shower that ultimately destroyed these majestic creatures; and their struggle to find a place for survival. It has drama, humor and warmth as well as some terrifying and exciting moments. The combination of live action footage and digitally enhanced scenes works without a hitch. This is a very good movie that does not disappoint.
My rating = ***1/2

THE PATRIOT
Mel Gibson has been one of my heroes ever since he did Braveheart and even before with Road Warrior, the Lethal Weapon series and others. He picks and chooses his projects well and The Patriot is no exception! It is a magnificent epic film with warmth, heart, passion and even patriotism at its core. They say Hollywood cannot make a decent film of our American Revolution and I could not disagree more. There was Drums Along the Mohawk, Unconquered, Jefferson in Paris to mention a few. Good films but no one cared to see them. Now we have one of our biggest stars in a truly stirring, family oriented drama, taking place during the birth of our nation and it's time Americans took note. This is history as entertainment and should inspire a 'thirst' for more knowledge of our historic past in the same way the marvelous Civil War epic Gettysburg did for those of us who saw it. All production aspects are excellent: script, acting, cinematography, editing, art direction and set design, a fine music score, a perfect cast. What more can one ask of a film? The film also gives a brutally realistic depiction of war, which should never be sugarcoated. It beautifully touches on the black man's role at this point in history plus it has some memorably touching scenes involving family-life. Do yourself a favor and see this terrific film on a big screen with great sound, you will not be sorry.
My rating = ****

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